Tips for sharing your decision with those close to you
Making the move to a retirement village is about more than just changing your address. Talking about the future takes courage for both you and your adult children. Sharing the news can bring out a whole range of emotions, and you need to be prepared.
Many families resist having conversations about their parents’ desire to downsize and move from the family home into a new home, and a new community. Adult children may be concerned about their parent’s long-term well-being or upset about no longer having their childhood home to come back to. They could be worried about being further away from the support of their parents and their children’s grandparents.
Ultimately, the decision is yours, but ideally you want your family on-board. So, how can you make the conversation as stress-free as possible for everyone involved? Here are a few suggestions that may help you better communicate with your loved ones about your plans to move to a retirement community.
Start the conversation early
Depending on the relationship you have with your adult children, it may be worth talking with them before you’ve made the decision, when you’re just considering the idea. This will give them the opportunity to (hopefully) warm slowly to the thought of you moving. It might also help them feel valued and encourage them to have some input along the way.
Starting the conversation early in the journey gives your family time to do their own research, voice any concerns, explain their point of view, and ask questions. Having these discussions early can avoid disagreements or confusion as you have plenty of time to talk openly. You may even find they reach the stage where they’re keen to help you with the whole process.
Plan ahead and make a time
If you’ve already made the decision to move into a retirement village, you might consider organising a special time to announce the news to your loved ones. This can often be better than just dropping it into a conversation without any warning.
You know your family well enough to know whether to give them the heads up beforehand on what you’re planning to discuss, or whether to use this gathering as the starting point for your conversation.
If you all live close by and can gather in person, then perhaps invite everyone over for a meal, otherwise an online video chat may have to suffice. Allow plenty of time and make sure everyone gets a chance to speak… and be heard.
Topics to chat about
If you’ve done some research already, you’ll know some of the wonderful benefits of living in a retirement community. Discuss these with your family and let them know the reasons why they’re important to you.
Maintenance free - Many residents move to a retirement village to give them more time to enjoy life! Explain to your children why you’re tired of mowing the lawns, cleaning the gutters, maintaining the pool, and never getting to the end of your ‘to-do’ list. Retirement village living allows you to enjoy all the perks without all the work. That also means more time for family visits!
Safety and security – Talk about the security aspect of living in a retirement community. Many have on-site managers and 24/7 security systems with the houses, streets and facilities all designed and built with the safety, security, and wellbeing of the residents in mind.
Social community – Have a chat with your family about the added sense of security and peace of mind that comes with living in a community of like-minded people, who are at a similar age and stage in life. They should take comfort in knowing they don’t have to worry about you sitting at home. You’ll be out making new friends and really living life to the full.
Health and wellness – It could also be a good time to talk about your health and what your needs may be in the future. The focus of retirement villages is to support the physical, mental, emotional, and social wellbeing of their residents. They want everyone to make the most of their golden years. Modern villages offer sporting and recreational facilities, social events, and a wide range of interest groups to keep their residents connected, active and happy.
Retirement village facilities - You might also slip into the conversation the benefits to your family of you moving to a retirement community. As you probably know, the facilities in modern retirement villages are like living in a resort, so when your family comes to visit, they too get to enjoy most of these amenities with you. Watch their eyes light up (and your grandchildren’s) when you mention pools, pool tables, bowling greens, movie theatres and tennis courts. Have the glossy brochures or website pages ready!
Listen to your loved ones’ concerns
Much as you might feel tempted to just tell them what you’re doing (or planning to do) and leave it at that, nobody wants to feel railroaded. The more honest you can be with them about your reasons, your hopes, and dreams for your future, the more likely they will be to listen to you.
In turn, you also need to listen to their concerns, let them explain their point of view, and ask you questions. Talking freely and openly with each other can help to avoid disagreements or confusion.
If you have family members who might feel challenged by your choices, or get angry, upset, or not want to talk about them, you may need to consider inviting a third-party into the conversation. This could be an impartial family friend, or a professional mediator if you think that would enable you and your family members to each say what you need to.
Enlist your family’s help
If you’re in the early stages of looking at your retirement living options, you might consider asking your family members to help you in the process. This will provide them with an opportunity to feel valued and not just feel like a bystander. If they’re open to it, ask them to help you with research, present you with some options, offer their ideas and talk with you about the pros and cons of what they find.
Working together on this as a ‘project’ could be a great way to bring you closer with your adult children by giving them a deeper understanding of what you are looking for and allowing them to play an active role in helping find the perfect place for you to retire.
Bring your family to meet our family at Kensington Gardens
Kensington Gardens Retirement Villages offer a wonderful lifestyle for you to come home to. We invite you and your loved ones to visit our retirement communities at Albury and Shepparton. If they’re unable to join you in person, then we’re always happy to have a chat or video call with them to answer all their questions.
Kensington Gardens Lifestyle Estates provide luxurious, secure, resort lifestyle living, centred around a stunning Residents’ Clubhouse and an impressive range of indoor and outdoor activities.
Come and meet some of our residents and ask them why they love living here. Many will tell you living at Kensington Gardens is how retirement living should be – and they wish they had moved sooner!
To arrange a personal tour – on your own or with your family – please call us at Albury on 02 6049 3100 or Shepparton on 03 5820 5100 or connect with us online to book a time. We look forward to meeting you!
